Her Abortion

atnThis is a submission from a reader. My response will be dedicated to a blog post next week, please stay tuned. I know her choice of abortion will be upsetting to some of you. Please remember there is a human at the receiving end of what you say. See this as an opportunity to post encouraging words for someone going through this now, or who may end up in a similar fix in the future.

A week later, the reality of the situation is finally hitting me. I’m at an event, sitting beside a barely pregnant woman and I run to the bathroom, tearing up. I was sad before, but I am just realizing what I have done. I cry for my child that did not get a chance, I cry for myself, for not being able to protect my unborn from the bashful words of her maternal grandparents. I cry for her father, let’s call him Grey, who did everything he could to be there for me. I cry for Grey more because he has always been consistent with his loving actions – from the day we met, until, and after the day of the procedure. Grey was vehemently against the abortion, but I chose my family over him.

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My Little Poem on Death and Living

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Credit: financialjuneteenth

Love me today
Tomorrow is not guaranteed

Forgive me today
It becomes your burden when I am gone

Show me Christ today
Heaven is for the saved

Hold me today
My body gets excited by yours

Buy me flowers today
The nose of the dead don’t work

Sing to me today
I want to enjoy the resounding tones

Dance with me today
My vibrant body desires to move

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My Love Handles. My 3rd Chin. My Jiggles. My Happiness, Take II.

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I had writers block this week, so I scrolled through my previous posts to find something! You see, Oreofetalks is committed to posting every Thursday @12 non EST!

I cannot stress the importance of a positive self confidence. If I got my validation from people, oh, I’d be a depressed mess now. I agree, being overweight or obese is nothing to be praised. We need to work on achieving our optimal health to avoid diabetes, etc. But when you’re currently in the situation, you can’t constantly beat yourself up, ok? You listening?? Please share you the good or bad experiences that you’ve had relating weight, fat, or too skinny, in the comment section.

This is from July 2015, but it is still very valid today. Enjoy!

If you’ve had the marvelous opportunity of knowing me over the past 5 years or more, it’s no news to you that I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT over those years.img_0541

I was a fat 10 year old, but lost all my chunky when I was mourning in my Nigerian boarding school. It’s real – I lost 9kg (20 lbs) in 12 days! Ask my mommy, no lies here folks, lol. I remember putting on my jean skirt my first break from school. AFTER zipping
it up, it fell to the ground. Over my 6 years of boarding school, I’d gain weight during holidays > 3 weeks, and shed it all off once I got back to school.

Exercise is VITAL. I get it, but if I’m to be honest with you, I’ll tell you that I’m not that committed to it. I think the most I’ve regularly exercised has been 5 consecutive weeks. Anyways, I moved to America June 2010.
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Let’s Discuss: Our Five Love Languages

5ll A few years ago, a friend introduced me to a book, ‘5 love languages.’ The summary of this book is that, each individual has a unique love language—words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch—that best fills their love. It encourages couples to share their discovered love language with their significant other (S.O), so that they can be loved the way they need to be loved. You can see more on the love languages here.

It’s always been tough for me to rank my love languages because, at one point or the other, I need each one of these love languages from my S.O, if not all. A few weeks ago, a friend, my younger brother, Demi, and I were discussing these love languages. As we went through the meaning of each, my list kept changing. Earlier this week, Demi shoots me a message of his thoughts on the matter. After reading it, I thoughy, ‘YESSSS!! My love languages are all the love languages, and I hope and pray that with adequate communication, mutual understanding, and genuine love for one another, my, and your S.O would be able to love us the way we need to be loved, in the different moments of life.’

Demi’s Expose (with my edits) – 5 Love Languages
My! I was thinking last night. Love languages should not be discussed; they should be discovered. If your tell your S.O asks that your love language is ‘acts of service,’ the next day, he’she takes your dirty car for a deep clean. You will be super excited right? Yes, I would be too.  Continue reading

Turning Cancerous Lemons to Yummy Lemonades

 

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L – R: Oreofe, Danielle, Aaleyah

A few months ago, I shared here that one of my favorite girls, Aaleyah was diagnosed with Medullary Thyroid Carcinoma, a neuroendocrine cancer. She has good days, and bad days, but ultimately, she is taking this journey like a champion, and giving light and love to all her family and friends through this journey. She inspired her friend, Danielle, owner of dellectables, to start a table talk series which happens in an interview format, but for a blog. This interview was done last Friday, before the successful completion of Aaleyah’s thyroid removal on Monday, thank you, Jesus! I invite you to see how a 22 year old chick, who got what seems like life’s sourest lemons, has turned it into lemonades.

 

After reading their conversation, I gained so much. I saw the love of family, the importance in picking the right friends, and the determination to always choose life, no matter what life brings. As Danielle said, “I don’t know what you will take from it, but I hope that you can at least take one thing, that whatever life throws at you it’s never the end and you can make the best of what you’re given.

Here’s a piece of HERstory…


Danielle: How are you today?
Aaleyah: I’m great, how are you?

I’m doing good, trying to make some lemonade.
Lemonade or tea (laughs)?

Hmm… tea because you know it cures it all, and add some lemon.
(Laughs) I’ll just channel Beyoncé and make some lemonade in my life.

(Laughs) You’ve been doing a great job at it.
Thank you! I really appreciate that.

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Show me the Love you Profess

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Pic credit: Casedekarma

If I’m ever in a bizarre situation, where I can only have one book of the Bible with me, I’d pick Romans. It’s my favorite book!

I am currently running an initiative to raise money for a person I care so deeply about, who has an incredible story. Please look on my social media for the story, or reach out to me if you would like to know the details, and give, as I cannot put it on my blog because it’s a surprise, and I can’t control who sees my posts!

This initiative has taken up all my thinking time this week. I have experienced generosity that moved me to tears. I also experienced the opposite end of generosity. I’ve received so much encouragement and blessings from doing this. But I’ve also received some critic. Overall, I have enjoyed doing this, and it has shifted my perspective on various things! Since I’m in a place of meditation, i will carry you along on that journey.

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Sex, Purity, and Christianity

FullSizeRender Is there an age when it’s understood that you can no longer wait? What should we do with ourselves when we get horny? (Yes, virgins, or the holiest people get horny too). Is the emphasis on sex too much? Why do people want to give virgins a medal, but no one is giving a medal to someone who isn’t a glutton? According to the bible, these are both sins. Is it because of the possible soul ties created during sex?  In the bible days, waiting was easier because they got married almost after the girls started their menstruation. Today, the average age of marriage is 27 for women, and 29 for men.
These are some questions that have been heavy on my mind lately. I don’t have the answers to them, but some of my fav gals have so generously shared a large part of their journey. The answers I am sharing are from young ladies, so again, I don’t know about older single women, say age 30+, but God help us all! I was really blessed by their responses, and so thankful that I have a rich poll of loved ones.

Grace: Engaged, getting married @23.
Me: I’m sure this is a private for you and bae, but as a Christian dating, how possible is it to remain pure? How far becomes too far? How do you draw the line on your passion? I’m struggling with this, and I’m not even committed to one person, yet… so I’m just really curious. Can this be achieved?
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