Guides to a Successful Long Distance Relationship (LDR)

Please read my previous posts on the upsides and downsides of LDRs.rg

Set ground rules
Rules exist to keep us accountable. We are not robots, so yes, some of these rules will be broken, but as much as possible, stay committed to the rules. Here are a few tips for the rules – make them measurable, make them doable, evaluate your progress, and make them together as it is vital that you and your partner are in 100% agreement.

Communicate properly and daily
No matter how insignificant you think your feelings about something is, voice it out! Over-communicate! If you see a text you don’t understand, call. Your partner is not there; they cannot see anything outside the focus of the camera. Have conversations about big things like 401k’s and mundane things like sand. NOTHING is off-topic. If you desire to be loved in a certain way, it is your responsibility to voice this out to your partner.

Be Romantic
LDRs are no excuse not to be romantic. Thank technology for making our lives easier. Do not just do big things on Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or birthdays. The small things truly add up!
Here are a few ideas that can really help:

  •  If they have a stressful week, buy them a massage card to be pampered.
  • Send flowers to your lady on a random day.
  • Order a weekly supply of their favorite meals, especially if they are not feeling too well, or under a lot of stress.
  • If your partner is into music, send them songs to help convey the emotions you feel for them.
  • Do not wait for your partner to ask for help before you offer it.
  • Plan date nights – watch a movie, drink the same wine, dress up for your boo.
  • Create a cute video just for them.
  • Use your words to communicate your feelings.
  • Write them poems.
  • BE ROMANTIC – the sky is the limit!

Honesty
Do not lie to your partner. The truth eventually comes out. Be true to your commitment. Trying times will come. It is such a wicked thing to lie to deceive your partner. So if you know something is going to cause you to try cover the truth, desist from doing it.

Be present
When you talk to your partner, give them 100% of your attention. Show them that although you may not be seeing as often as you’d like, they are your top priority. Being present is a mental thing. Distance should not interfere with that. Remember to ask them about their coworker who had a baby, or ask if they remembered to send flowers to their mom. Ask about the manicure that he wanted to get done, or the dress she wanted to buy. The goal is to make your partner feel like you are there.
Remember what they tell you.  Ask them about the annoying boss, or the amazing professor. Be interested in their lives!

Trust
You need to believe that your partner is staying true to your commitment. If you’re always asking that ‘What? Who? Where?’ questions, it could drive them crazy, and invariably drive the relationship to the ground.
As a tip, something becomes an issue when the other person has to ask about it. To reduce the negative impact of something, especially when you’re in the wrong, be the one to bring it up.

Learn their quirks and nuances
As you progress in your relationship, everything does not need to be spelled out. With how your partner says, ‘hello,’ you should be able to tell the kind of day they’re having. No human is perfect, and you’re not in a relationship to change someone, so learn their ‘weirdness,’ and find a way to adapt, or work around it.

Be careful
No matter how in love you are with your LDR partner, especially one you have never met, stay cautious. Try not to engage in monetary dealings, but if those become necessary, have a plan and sign documents. Be careful with the information you give out to them – passport numbers, license numbers, social securities, etc. There are some evil people in this world.

Share pictures A LOT
If you see the cutest dog, don’t just describe it, capture it, and send it over immediately! Send a selfie, send bits and pieces of what makes up your day. Don’t wait for your partner to ask. Sharing these small, seemingly meaningless pictures and videos can add  up and help build intimacy, making your partner feel close to you.

Do not play emotional or power games
Love is serious. Do not try to see who will call first, who will say ‘I love you’ first. Do not keep scores, do not set out to retaliate. LDRs are for matured individuals. Each day is a new day and a chance for both parties to put their 100% in. This is tough because sometimes we want to give out partners a taste of their own medicine, but try – do not set out to do harm.

Be sensitive
When your partner tells you something that clearly bothers them, do not laugh it off. Encourage them to talk more about it, and do what they need you to do in the moment. Sometimes it may be to stay quiet, cry with them, encourage them or to handle the situation in any other way. A lot of men have been lied to that they have to be so strong – see what I wrote about it here. Encourage your man to TALK!

Watch movies together
Agree on the movie you want to watch, then video call your partner, place the phone beside the laptop so you can see your partner’s reactions throughout the movie. Let one person play the movie with sound and the other without. Hopefully you’re able to experience the sense of going on a date by doing this!

Say good morning and goodnight
DO not miss this! Give them a blessing for the day and wish them a good night’s sleep at the end of the day.

 Have a plan
As much as possible, define the terms of your LDR, and try to set a date for when you and bae will be seeing next.

Rated 18+
Sometimes, the limits have to be pushed. You and your partner have blood flowing. You can explore what you can do over the phone to keep the fire burning – let us limit this to a marriage LDR.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the LDR series as much as I enjoyed compiling them.

As always, it is my joy writing for you! Please share my blog post to the world. Remember that your dialogue in my comment section gives me the encouragement to keep providing exciting content to you! Feel free to leave topic requests down below. Have a terrific week ahead and God bless you!

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