If you missed it, catch up on the upsides to LDRs! As we established in the last post, LDRs are not for children! You have to be two mature individuals committed to making it work against all odds! I fully believe in doing your best in preparing for things – positive and negative. LDRs aren’t all cheery! Here are some of the tough realities.
Travel is amazing, yes – but expensive. A certain level of financial stability is required in LDRs. Outside of the planned trips, there are some impromptu trips you will have to make for your partner. These could be the funeral of a close friend/ family, a serious illness, etc. Anyhow it goes, a lot of money goes on travel arrangements which could be a huge burden for a young, struggling couple.
No physical contact
According to Gary Chapman’s book on the 5 love languages, physical touch is one of those languages. If you’re in a LDR and you fall under this category, sorry! It’s a tough road ahead of ya! Say bye bye to cuddles, kisses, holding hands, looking deep into your lovers’ eyes, hugging, etc. On the bright side, time flies. In no time, you will be in your lover’s arms again.
Dancing around issues If your partner upsets you, you could put your phone face down on silent and unintentionally, yet purposely miss their phone calls. This way, you can honestly say, ‘I didn’t see your call, babe.’ This prevents issues from being dealt with head-on.
Your partner may be unable to talk when you need them, thanks to time difference, etc. Although you understand, it could cause you to unjustly upset when next you talk, or worse off, contact another person to talk with you in that moment, causing possible emotionally attachments to the other person, which in my opinion is worse than cheating.
Too much missing
The phrase, ‘I miss you,’ may quite honestly be the most used phrase universally in LDRs. You may miss your partner to the point where the incessant missing pushes you to be mad at them, or lead to silly fights over not been able to change your current fate. You will uncover several layers of what ‘missing’ really is. Those layers are not always pretty. Oh, for the months that choose to take 910 days to be over, like January 2018, you will feel like pulling out your hair. Time apart seems to CRAWL, but time together SPRINTS faster than Usain Bolt!
Too much talking
Every so often, even the biggest talkative (oreofetalks for instance), wants to be quiet. In LDRs, that may be tough to do as communication is all you have. When a few minutes go by without much said, one party may want to hang up. As the relationship progresses, it is possible to start getting comfortable with silence over the phone, but in situations where data or phone call cards are expensive, this could lead back to point 1.
Too much distance
Yes, you know what you signed up for, but you may inevitably get fed up of the distance. The hope is that you and your partner do not go through the frustration at the same time, as that could lead you all to simply just call things quits. If one person gets a little fed up at a time, the other is able to cheer you on, and remind you of what you are doing this for!
Awkwardness when distance closes
When you are used to expressing your love in a certain way, over the phone, video calls, and texts, it could get weird for some people when they actually have to face their partners. This is especially in the cases where the partners have never met each other face to face. In extreme cases, it could lead to a panic attack for you or your partner. If this happens, maybe you should run, lol!
There is a whole show dedicated to the notoriousness of this! In summary, it’s when someone you met online poses to be something or someone they are not. Unfortunately, bad people exist. Some may prey on your emotions and cause you to waste your time, your money, your efforts and your love.
I will always advice people to meet their partners before commencing a relationship.
Imagine giving your partner $2,300 for a plane ticket and they never show up? Or them using you as a medium to transfer illegitimately earned money? This and worse happens. A friend recently told me of her friend who had spent a total of $50,000.00 USD on her ‘boyfriend.’ This guy, was using the money from his girlfriend to take vacations with other girls! Bananas! After they called it off and her parents got to know what happened, they did something absolutely hilarious and very necessary! They set up a PAYMENT PLAN! The guy is paying back every dime of the 50k!
Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. This scripture is vital when it comes to relationships. Please do not take your heart for granted. The heart controls a lot of things we do, so be super careful of who you allow into your heart and head space.
With every problem comes a solution! Oh, I’m not cruel. I couldn’t possibly end on this note. Stay tuned for my next post on how to make LDRs, or relationships in general work!
As always, it is my joy writing for you! Please share my blog post to the world. Remember that your dialogue in my comment section gives me the encouragement to keep providing exciting content to you! Feel free to leave topic requests down below. Have a terrific week ahead and God bless you!