Live in the now. Tomorrow is far away. If you love someone, say so. The repercussions of holding your breath are usually not worth it.
Dele and Halima go way back… way back to a time of purity, innocence and child-like love. Dele always liked Halima, but never said so. Halima was a free bird. Hard to pin down. She was very much aware of the emotions from Dele, but she was not going to say a word, and they were babies.
You see, there’s this thing about love, love does not respect your boundaries. Love does not care if you’re ready, or not. You think love addresses age? No… You can find love at 2, or 10, maybe 22, could be 58, or even 83… There is no set age for love. I can only hope and pray that if you’re old enough to read and understand this write-up, you have at one point, or currently are experiencing love. Love is stronger than death. It consumes your being.
Now, would this love, romantically, be possible to be felt by one person for two individuals? Have we ever really thought about polygamy? How do people come to terms with ‘sharing their love?’
Halima went on with life… About 5 years after meeting Dele, Dele finally confirms the looming feelings. ‘Halima, I love you, or like you… something of the sort.’ Then the next hindrance comes in: Distance!
Committing your heart, your love, your attention, your faithfulness, to anyone is tough. Now, when you put in the distance, it takes the whole thing for a spin. Love is greater than distance… but distance is non-negligible, it’s a huge distraction. The inability to look in each others eyes, the lack of any kind of physical touch. The absence of dates. The poor communication when a text is read in a harsher tone than it was sent. Sending away new love flames for someone who you just have to trust are doing the same. Long distance relationships are tough, but could be very well worth it, with the right person.
… Time waits for no man…
In their 9th year of knowing, and a couple of failed relationships between them, things got a little serious… but timing… Halima and Dele both went through a tough year. Halima told Dele that Ebuka, a new guy, has gotten into the picture, and is serious about making it work. Halima said she was in the process of making her decision, with marriage as the focus now. Dele heard her, but he did not hear her.
The six months that followed this conversation were filled with different ups and downs in their individual lives. Dele and Halima were not communicating, sometimes, for several weeks at a time. Ebuka was building a foundation with Halima. Ebuka asked Halima to make it official, and exclusive. It took her six months to agree. At this point, Dele started seeming like a sad, past love story…
Shortly after Halima commits, it was like a love whisperer talked to Dele. He gets fired up with the, ‘hello baby’ texts. Halima finally lets him know that she is in a serious, committed relationship, and her ship, the ship to this free birds’ wings, her bigger than life personality, her fear of commitments, the ship has finally sailed. Ebuka was able to reach Halima is ways Dele did not explore.
Of course, most breakups are painful… but in this case, and with the history between them, it tore them apart. This was Dele’s note to Halima. Let’s learn from this…
I truly had a hunch that you’d moved on hun. The conversations were less engaging and your battery was getting low (very unlike you). I am truly sorry that I couldn’t be there for you at the right time and in the right capacity. I couldn’t man up and let you know how much I love you, think about you on a daily and read/re-read all our conversations and played your VNs almost as if they were songs. I’m in a state of regret right now, my actions and inactions led to this.
Truth is I was scared; scared of the unknown, how’ll a long distance relationship pan out between us but as the days went by, I became open to the idea and decided that I’ll make the move the moment I finish my… In my playful, day dreaming moments; I had seen how we’d have fared as a couple, the arguments, the surprises, the gifts, the calls, the events we’d attend together whenever we were together.
Over thinking led me to thinking of us walking down the aisle, kids and how our lives would have turned out. I came to the conclusion that we could give it a try, but I truly sensed that you were already with someone.
I love now and I always will, my darling Halima, and even though there’s no one I have feelings at the moment, you will always have a special place in me when that person comes. I want you to give your heart to Ebuka, not at once though, but in levels as he proves himself worthy of each of these levels.
I LOVE YOU.
Halima is broken… but she will move forward with Ebuka. No one knows the future. We can only hope and pray that thing work out for Ebuka and Halima, and that Dele finds his own special lover, and wastes no time in conveying those feelings. It seems he has learned.
Please share this post if you can relate, and leave a comment of a time you were in the middle of a love triangle like this, and what helped you in making your decisions. Please remember to subscribe to oreofetalks.com so you can get email notifications of when the posts go live, or set your calendars to check into oreofetalks every Thursday at noon EST, when the posts go live! Exciting updates coming soon!