Relationships – family, friendships, sisterhoods, bromance, BFF’s etc., are vital to every individual. No man is an island. We all need people. We need a support system. We need encouragers. We need destiny helpers. Of all these people we need, the most important one is the person we choose to commit the rest of our lives to. This decision affects every aspect of one’s life! Many people find the topic of marriage scary, and rightly should. Marriage is a hit or miss. I have seen both situations play out, and because of this, I will do my best to make sure I don’t make a mistake in choosing who I spend the rest of my life with.
Last summer, I talked with my Grandpa, who was 83 years old at the time, and was happily married for 50 years before my Grandma went to rest with Jesus. He shared 8 things to study for in a partner before marriage. I will be gracious enough to share it with you all.
- Sign from God – When you see the person, ask God to let you know it’s him/her. Ensure that it’s Gods choice for you. He saw my grandma in a dream, with the number of children they went on to have. Get a sign. We spiricoco’s call it conviction.
- Use your intellect – Distinguish between the good and bad. Don’t get blinded by love. You need your eyes to decipher things.
- Cultural affinity – Someone not too strange to your background. The average Nigerian has a thousand aunties and uncles, and maybe 100 mummies and daddies. No, they aren’t all our parents siblings – yes they are our aunties… Go figure, lol.
- Temperamental blending – referring to me, he said: Find a man who has a cool nature. Someone who can blend with your own vivacious nature. If you’re hot tempered, have someone who is cool tempered. For peace to reign, you need some type of balance.
- Genetic blending – A person whose genotype is AA can marry anyone, but an AS should not marry AS or SS to avoid unhappiness over their children. In other words, blacks are subject to get the genotype SS with an unlikely match. Please utilize google to properly research this. It’s important if you plan on having children.
- Optimistic personality– A positive thinker will go higher in life than someone who sees everything as not possible until the tide of life passes them by. This is coming from a man who sent himself to school and has gallantly risen up to the top of the society. I would take his word on that!
- Hard work – Both people should be hard working so that they can raise children who are hardworking. My grandpa is allergic to lazy, purpose-less people. Hard work is a virtue he lives by.
- But remember, there is no perfect partner. No one will possess all the traits, but let’s try our best to blend the traits.
The least important, but equally important, if you’re short, find someone tall. hahaha! He is a hilarious man! Lastly, when the person is found, always remember to thank God.
I believe we all know what we want in a spouse, but we must know what marriage entails. It’s beyond some of the fairy tails we see on social media, it’s more than cute babies, or the $1,000,000,000 wedding we want to have. It’s the connection you have in secret. It’s the love you have that will go all the way for you. It’s the dedication to one another’s happiness. It’s the will to choose love, over, and over, and over again.
For those who are married, I pray you enjoy a blissful life with your chosen one. For those who are single, I implore you to really think about the decision of marriage. Is it for you? Are you ready to put in the work? Are you mature enough? Would you be better off staying single? Everyone’s journey and path in life is different. Find your, own it, and walk confidently in the direction of your dreams!
I hope you’ve enjoyed our #relationship series. Please remember to share, like, and follow oreofetalks. Posts will keep coming to you every Thursday at 12pm, EST. I enjoy taking this journey with you!