Keep me as the apple, the daughter of Your eye; In shadow of Thy wings, hide me Lord. – Psalm 17:8
If you’re familiar with the Nigerian entertainment industry, the story of Tiwa’s husband, TeeBliz attempting suicide due his acclaimed tale of being mistreated by Tiwa and her ‘witch’ mother, cursed by his father etc. is not news to you… I’m not interested in writing about ‘gossip’, so please utilize other outlets and get the gist of the story.
A few weeks ago, I clearly got my ministerial calling. God has put a burden on my heart, a burden that makes me want to see every woman come to Christ, live in happiness and become great! Take a break at the point. Pull out your phone. If you know ANYONE on your contact list that’s in an abusive (mentally, psychologically, financially, physically, emotionally) relationship; marriage, engagement or dating, please call them and cry out to them to leave. Offer them resources that you have and can use to help them… This is what I mean by ‘being my sister’s keeper.’ Yes, God hates divorce etc. I personally think it’s silly to get a divorce because you want 2 kids and your spouse wants 4, or other trivial issues… But when your health and wholeness starts getting compromised, please leave. I’ve never been in a long relationship/ marriage, so I can’t imagine how difficult it’d be, but please…better late than never, LEAVE sister!The traditional African mother/ aunt will tell you, ‘ahh, marriage isn’t rosy. You just weather through it. Ah! I don’t want a broken marriage for my child.’ That’s how the typical African mother shows her love, but sis [Tiwa], there’s a love of God, stronger than any love on earth… that does not condone you being hurt by a man. Where do we get the damned idea that anything is better than a divorce? Mothers, WHY are you begging your precious baby girls to ‘manage’ in a detrimental relationship? Fathers, where’s the examples you’re setting for your sons? Girlfriends, where are you when your friends get themselves tied up in relationships where you, seeing clearly, can tell that the man’s no good for her! Guys, where are you when you see a brother disrespecting, or ill-treating his lady?
Recently, my aunt scolded me for telling my friend she has no business in dating a jobless 25-year-old, who lives in his mother’s house, fights about cleaning his room, and has been in college for MANY years (she met him in college, and she’s leaving him there). My aunt’s point was that if tomorrow said man becomes something great, or the president, my friend may blame me for making her walk away from him. Another point was, she could say I’m jealous because I’m not in a relationship. Yet, the one that perplexed me the most was, ‘your friend is being selfish for remaining his girlfriend. She should strip herself of that title and just focus on helping him become a better person!’
My darlings, please hear me. Your destiny is not tied to ONE particular person! Yes, we have people who help us achieve our goals, but no, you don’t have a calling to help one man grow! We live in the present. Let’s get rid of the ‘what-if’s’ and face the facts. You CANNOT change anyone! Please, don’t think you can. If they’re not good for you, leave. There are no perfect people, but there are men out there who will be good boyfriends and husbands to you. It’s not your prerogative to go on a hunt for those men, but it’s your duty to live a life full of happiness and joy, and not attached to one man!
I really don’t care if you say Tiwa is lying, I choose to stand in solidarity with her! Tiwa, I’m on my knees, intervening to God on your behalf! You will be great! Your destiny is not tied down to TJ. Your son and future children will be blessed. Your career
will be blessed. God says He grants us peace that passes all understanding…that is your portion! You will smile again! God will bless you with a new beginning. All the hurt caused by TJ will be lifted. You will shine! You will claim your possessions and no longer have to bail him out! Every kobo you’ve spent on him will be replenished! Tiwa, the Lord is your strength. Please don’t listen to the internet trolls. Take some time off, and heal. Seek God, you will find Him. Don’t live in fear. I’m praying for God’s protection over you. God bless you and Jamil.
Ladies, please stop allowing men treat you ‘anyhow.’ You are a royal gem, precious in the eyes of the Lord. You deserve the very best. Please, don’t die in silence. Reach out to me, talk to your friends, and most importantly, choose your spouses very wisely.
I really love you all!