If you’ve had the marvelous opportunity of knowing me over the past 5 years or more, it’s no news to you that I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT over those years.
I was a fat 10 year old, but lost all my chunky when I was mourning in my Nigerian boarding school. It’s real – I lost 9kg (20 lbs) in 12 days! Ask my mommy, no lies here folks, lol. I remember putting on my jean skirt my first break from school. AFTER zipping it up, it fell to the ground. Over my 6 years of boarding school, I’d gain weight during holidays > 3 weeks, and shed it all off once I got back to school.
Exercise is VITAL. I get it, but if I’m to be honest with you, I’ll tell you that I’m not that committed to it. I think the most I’ve regularly exercised has been 5 consecutive weeks. Anyways, I moved to America June 2010. Almost immediately, I started gaining weight. Gaining weight is weird, I didn’t realize I looked different until I saw my sister at Christmas and she SCREAMED! Lol.
I gained weight, lost, gained, lost some, gained more, maintained, you get the drill. It wasn’t the easiest adjustment for me, as I thought I could still fit into my size 6 dresses, until I realized I couldn’t. If you know any Nigerians, you know we could be extremely MEAN/ WICKED/ IGNORANT/ ANNOYING with issues of weight. I got orisirisi (various) phrases thrown at me every holiday I went back home.
“OH MY GOD!! ARE YOU EATING ALL THE BURGERS IN AMERICA?!!!”
“Chai! Slow down o.”
“Ah, babes, you don fat finish.”
“How do you think you will find a husband with all this weight?”
The ironic thing is that most of this was said out of concern and love.
The most appalling one was an aunt who in front of my two sisters and I said, “Abcde is the finest, followed by Oreofe, then Uvwxy. If Oreofe wasn’t fat, she’d be the finest.” Like, why aunty, why??
One of my good-looking, slender friends once told me, “Girl, you just gotta learn how to stick a toothbrush down your throat.” On hearing this, I blessed God for my self-confidence. I’d rather eat fine portions, than eat the whole table only to make myself puke.
People, not every kind of fat is unhealthy, and not every kind of slim is healthy. An individual should NOT be evaluated solely on these appearances. We need to become more concerned with the well being of people, not just concerned about how they’re living up to society’s standards. As a girl, a minority of minorities, living in a toxic environment, I realized quickly that I have to stand up for myself. I couldn’t let the society choke me.
I looked into my scriptures to help me live a happy life, in my size. I found a lot. I will give you two:
Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Psalms 139:14 – I will praise You, for I am wonderfully and fearfully made.
I choose to dress in ways that compliments my shape, carry myself properly, and try to make as many healthy choices as I can. No, I’m not going to go on your juicing diet. Yes, I will continue to portion my sizes nicely, and I’ll enjoy my walks 😀
(Allow me digress a little. When I work out intensely, I get awful headaches. Yes, I drink water before, during and after, and I sleep well. Someone please help!)
My conclusion on this is that I cannot live each day thinking of losing weight. I’ll think of that maybe twice a year. For the rest of the time, I’ll learn how to enjoy the body I’m in, and continue to work daily on what is most important to me, my inner beauty, my happiness, my contentedness, enjoying life, and most importantly, that my heart is right with God. And if you’re one of the people concerned about my size, thanks. Just pray for me, rebuke the Spirit of laziness etc, and pen the comments in your journal… not to my face.
1 John 4:18 – There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.
Show love to someone today, smile at the fat girl, hug the slim boy, hold the door for the tall tranny, share your food with your mate, delight in yourself, and at the end of the day, share my blog. xoxo