One love… Two Receivers?

Screen Shot 2015-11-18 at 3.21.38 PMLive in the now. Tomorrow is far away. If you love someone, say so. The repercussions of holding your breath are usually not worth it.

Dele and Halima go way back… way back to a time of purity, innocence and child-like love. Dele always liked Halima, but never said so. Halima was a free bird. Hard to pin down. She was very much aware of the emotions from Dele, but she was not going to say a word, and they were babies.

You see, there’s this thing about love, love does not respect your boundaries. Love does not care if you’re ready, or not. You think love addresses age? No… You can find love at 2, or 10, maybe 22, could be 58, or even 83… There is no set age for love. I can only hope and pray that if you’re old enough to read and understand this write-up, you have at one point, or currently are experiencing love. Love is stronger than death. It consumes your being.

Now, would this love, romantically, be possible to be felt by one person for two individuals? Have we ever really thought about polygamy? How do people come to terms with ‘sharing their love?’

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Hey Complainers, Let’s Re-Model!

complain‘I hate my job!’

‘My parents/ siblings/ family/ significant other/ friends/ celebrities keep pushing my nerves! I can’t wait to get out!’

‘Gosh! This is so irritating! Could you just stop it!’

‘Henry’s mouth stinks so bad! He is gross.’

‘Folake keeps wearing the same shoes! It’d be nice for her to switch it up sometime.’

We are almost all guilty of thinking, or saying these at one point or the other. Welcome to life. There are high times, there are low times. There are times when you feel like nothing could be going better for you, and time when you feel like nothing is going right for you! In those high times, we tend to be oh so jolly, but in the low times, what do we resolve to?

It’s really easy to complain. As much as there is caution to stop complaining, many times even from ourselves, we get a good feeling from venting out our concerns! Bottling things in can also be very risky. So, where do we draw the line?

I would like to test out putting a spin on our ‘complain models’ by suggesting we do the following. I can only pray that I am able to follow my own advice as this is also a weakness of mine.

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Oh South Korea! You Were Amazing in 2015… I Miss You!

IMG_8644In August 2015, I took my farthest and most exciting trip at that time. I went to South Korea! I don’t want that memory to ever leave me, as it was truly an amazing time! I’m re-posting my blog post to relish my experience, and give my newer followers the opportunity to hear about South Korea from my eyes.

Grab a bowl of popcorn, and a cup of tea, coffee, water or wine. At the end of this long piece, you’d feel like you were on my trip with me! So, buckle up!

Any opportunity to explore a different culture has my full attention! I’m sitting on the Haeundae beach in Busan, South Korea, getting my feet dipped in the Pacific Ocean as I write this! Bliss. Korea is a beautiful place! The pictures on Google are real. To think that she went through a horrible war about 65 years ago, she bounced back pretty nicely! Their growth and economic development can only make me pray that Nigeria and other 3rd world countries achieve speedy recovery from our corrupt governments and relatively stagnant economies.

I’ve had the time of my life in Seoul and Busan. Yes my curious ears, here are my twenty takeaways:

  1. Black women are rare:
    Everywhere I went, people were openly IMG_8616curious, staring at me, and asking for my pictures. I’d pose for a personal picture and a flock of photographers will come and take my picture! My group joked that I could make a living by charging some money for my picture to be taken.
    The most interesting thing happened when I went to the beach. I had my swimsuit on for a dip in the ocean, and this conversation ensued:

    2 Korean Girls (2KG): Oh my God! Your body is so beautiful!IMG_8984

    Me: (Aghast) Oh! Thanks!

    2KG: Are those your real boobs? They’re so big!

    Me: (Hahahahahahaha) Yes!! And you find much bigger where I come from.

    2KG: Wow!! We don’t have any boobs. A and B cups mostly.

    Me: Aw, I wish I could gift you some :=D

    2KG: Can we touch them?

    Me: Oh, go ahead!

    2KG: Uhh, Ahhh, it’s really real! Lol.

    No joke, this was how this went down, and it was fun!

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Do not Awaken Love Until the Time is Right.

Treat-yourself-with-love-and-kindness‘The worst thing anyone can do, is to take advantage of how good and nice someone is to them, and how much they love and care for them. It pretty much feels like being stabbed in the heart.’ – Rosemary Inegbese. 

Funke was living her happy life when Dinko decided he would ignite a friendship. Funke, the lovely lady that she is, decided to give this friendship a shot. Funke had never been one to believe in strong friendships with people of the opposite sex because, so many times in the past, she crossed the line between her ‘close male friends.’ Dinko seemed like a rather decent guy. He did not have any problems, really easy to communicate with, caring, and good looking. Their budding friendship lasted for a few months, before the feelings evolved into something bigger.

Dinko and Funke started ‘dating,’ but in true fashion of what most of the dating scenes look like today, there were no titles attached to their relationship. But what do you call a ‘friendship’ where you stay on the phone for hours, sleep off to the snoring of the other party, exchange gifts, over use the kissy face emojis, hold hands, cuddle, kiss, and pretty much ‘be in a relationship? It’s called ‘situationship.’ Beat that. This went on for a few happy months. Funke is the go-to-girl for relationship advice. She is well known by her friends for not sugar coating anything, which allows them fully rely on Funke for solid, unbiased advice. With her being the star of this ‘mess,’ her view unequivocally got hazy.

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Examine Your Spirit

confused girl

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I’ve never been one to seek out deeper meanings behind why things happen. The way I see things, they happen because they’re meant to happen, because God wants them to happen. The real reasoning will somehow become apparent when it’s supposed to. I’ve found it the last few weeks, however, that sometimes you should see situations for the wake up call they are. You should actively make the choice to acknowledge your situation then consciously decide how you will allow it to affect you.

I know this all sounds hypothetical and generalized so let me give you an example. It’s Wednesday evening, around five o’clock and I’m about to head out to this concert I’ve been looking forward to for months. Out of the blues, I get a very shady text message from my supposed friend. I’m not one to text and drive, so I stand by my house rapidly texting with her back and forth. Rather than antagonizing the situation further, I calmly and respectfully explain to her that when there is a problem, as friends, we should be able to discuss and resolve it without being nasty towards each other.

After twenty minutes or so, this ‘friend’ seemed to calm down and the issue was resolved. I got in my car and proceeded to drive to the concert. On this drive, I thought about what just transpired. Why would someone I’m friends with come at me like that? This was not the first time she had come at me like this. Every time this has happened, I’ve been the adult and tried to work the problem. Why do I continue to let this person’s negativity and drama ruin my mood, peace of mind, and excitement for this concert I’m driving to? All this while I’m driving feeling severely tense. Then, the car in front of me stops, so I stop. BAM! This black battering ram in the shape of an Audi A4 slams straight into the back of me.

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Her Abortion

atnThis is a submission from a reader. My response will be dedicated to a blog post next week, please stay tuned. I know her choice of abortion will be upsetting to some of you. Please remember there is a human at the receiving end of what you say. See this as an opportunity to post encouraging words for someone going through this now, or who may end up in a similar fix in the future.

A week later, the reality of the situation is finally hitting me. I’m at an event, sitting beside a barely pregnant woman and I run to the bathroom, tearing up. I was sad before, but I am just realizing what I have done. I cry for my child that did not get a chance, I cry for myself, for not being able to protect my unborn from the bashful words of her maternal grandparents. I cry for her father, let’s call him Grey, who did everything he could to be there for me. I cry for Grey more because he has always been consistent with his loving actions – from the day we met, until, and after the day of the procedure. Grey was vehemently against the abortion, but I chose my family over him.

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My Little Poem on Death and Living

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Credit: financialjuneteenth

Love me today
Tomorrow is not guaranteed

Forgive me today
It becomes your burden when I am gone

Show me Christ today
Heaven is for the saved

Hold me today
My body gets excited by yours

Buy me flowers today
The nose of the dead don’t work

Sing to me today
I want to enjoy the resounding tones

Dance with me today
My vibrant body desires to move

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